How to get a girlfriend:
- Go up to her and say, “Before I met you, the sun was like a yellow grape, but now it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me.”
- Nickname her “Dandelion”
- Tell her you’d throw your pie for her, and then proceed to do so, in a violent manner, toward a fellow near said conquest.
and whatever you do, DO NOT piss on the floor of her shared bunk while she sleeps